The Best Tips to Make Sleep Training Children Easier

Sleep training can be such a four letter word. There are so many opinions on the ‘right’ way to do it. Do you let them cry or not? Do you start at 4 months or wait until they are 8 months? It’s so confusing!  Not to mention posts and articles about how someone did it with no crying! 

Children, toddlers especially know just how to tug at your heart strings. It can be so hard to not give in to the demands, crying or sweet smiles.

When my older sister was pregnant with her youngest, I was able to take 5 weeks off while switching jobs. I was able to help her prepare for the baby with two boys under 4 running around. One of the things she asked me to help with was sleep training her two boys. Up to this point, they needed someone in their rooms until they fell asleep.

I started researching and quickly found out how many ways and there are get kids to sleep on their own! But I also realized there is no right or wrong way to sleep train children!

Sleeping training children, and teaching them to fall asleep on their own is such an important skill for children to learn. My youngest nephews are 17 months apart and had very different sleeping habits when they were younger. The oldest hated to sleep alone and struggled to stay asleep without someone next to him. This younger brother was a little more laid back but just felt more secure if someone was there until he fell asleep.

They shared a room and had been sleep trained when they were really little but once they started sharing a room, it was like the sleep training went out the window and we were back to laying with them until they fell asleep.

Here are my biggest tips for sleep training children of any age.

How to Choose a Bedtime

There are a lot of factors that go into picking a bedtime but here are the big questions:

• How many hours of sleep do they need?
• What time do you want them to wake up?

The amount of sleep a child needs varies greatly on age. According to kidshealth.org, infants need should sleep up to 18 hours a day including naps while kids aged 14 to 18 need ten hours less than that.

Once you have the answers to those two questions, figuring out what time to put your kids down for the night should be a little easier. However, keep in mind that kids that are used to fall asleep around 9pm aren’t going to suddenly fall asleep at 7pm just because they’re in bed early. Don’t forget to factor in how long it can take kids to fall asleep.

Create a Bedtime Routine

Children love routines! Not only does it help them understand how to complete tasks but it gives them a sense of security because they know what to expect.

Your bedtime routine can include whatever you want. Many times it will include bath time, brushing teeth and maybe a bedtime story. Be sure that you don’t include too much!

Bedtime routines should be relaxing, not a checklist of twenty things that need completed.

If your child is a little older, ask them what they would like to include in the routine. You can’t yes to everything, but say yes to something so they feel more invested in the routine. But remember, too many tasks makes it feel like a chore instead a calm time for bonding and talking about the day. 

Ask if they want to put their pajamas on before or after brushing their teeth, or ask if they want to read two or three books before bed. Giving children control, especially those that are strong-willed, makes them feel included and heard. Choices give children the control they need.

Slow Changes

Children thrive on routines so when we shake up their nights, its important to move slowly and not get into a power struggle. If kids are used to going to bed around 9pm, but really should be in bed by 7pm, they aren’t going to suddenly fall asleep early.

Start slowly and move up bedtime 15-20 minutes every few days.

Before you jump into sleep training, sit down with your child and talk about the upcoming changes. Knowing what is coming makes it less scary.

Be Consistent

This is the hardest part of sleep training children; staying consistent. Especially in those first few days, it’s so hard not to just fall back on the old, easy way of doing things.

If the time your child goes to bed every night is random and different each time, it’s going to be incredibly difficult for them to get on board with sleeping on their own. Think about it, if you started your work day at a different time every day, it would be hard to create a morning routine. The same holds true for kids and their bedtime routine. 

If you are trying a new method every day, your kids are going to be even more difficult to sleep train. Kids crave consistency and boundaries. If the routine is changing every single night, it can make them anxious because they can’t rely on previous experience to help soothe and reassure them. 

Also, make sure your evening schedule is clear for at least a week, if not two, before you start sleep training. Staying consistent with bedtime is essential for children to learn to sleep on their own. 

Be Supportive

Doing new things can be scary, especially something done alone. Going to sleep alone can seem really scare to some children. There are going to be nights when the kids are debating on the Senate floor to stay awake. It’s important to validate their feelings without putting ideas into their head.

Try not to ask if they’re scared. This can plant the idea that going to be alone is or should be scary. Instead, trying asking how they’re feeling and then validate those feelings. Encourage them throughout the process and celebrate the wins, regardless of how big or small.

Regardless of the method you choose to use, these five tips will help you be successful. Leave you sleep training tips below!